My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open

Like most people, I struggle with focus. I believe this is because the world is so beautifully and endlessly fascinating that I want to experience it all. I’m asking questions but I’m moving too quickly to hear the answers. I open every tab of the universe, skim it, and search for the next. All the tabs become overwhelming and I’m left with the thought “I can’t. It’s too much. Where do I start. I won’t start at all”.

I was speaking with a coworker and friend the other day about this conflict. I explained that I have too many passions and obligations fighting for my attention. He told me this story,

A man goes to his spiritual leader and says, “inside me there are two wolves fighting, one is good and one is evil. It creates extreme unrest in my life. Who will win?” His teacher said, “the one you feed the most”.

I’m starting this blog as a commitment to myself to feed my design wolf. She is very young and very skinny, but she has the potential to lead her own pack one day. In fact, by choosing to feed her, I believe the others will become healthier and stronger.

I want to become a great designer because I care about people. I want to help in the creation of our world with intention and conviction. When I identify a problem, I want to be able to craft the best solution. Design is merely creating a considered life. We are all designers. Everyday we choose to create our own experiences and the experiences of others. A good designer creates good experiences not only for herself, but for the people around her. A leader who is a designer is the most powerful wolf in the pack. She knows that it is her obligation to insure the world she creates is a beautiful place for others filled with love and space for everyone to grow and create.

I’m choosing to spend the next year studying design. I plan to do these three things everyday:

Read. I’ll be reading books on design and taking online HTLM, CSS, Java, and graphic design courses.

Create. I’m specifically focusing on developing skills in UX and web design. I also plan to make somethings in the physical world, just for fun, so I don’t forget that I live here.

Reflect. I’ll be writing in this blog daily to keep myself on track and to create a log of my journey.

I’m making this commitment not only for my career, but for my life. I hope to come out the other side through a portal I didn’t know even know existed.

Everyone is involved in the creative process, but some people are better at it. These are the people that have practiced and studied and tried and failed and tried again and failed again and were brave enough to share what they made with the world. I’ll leave you with one of my quotes, shared with me by one of my most brilliant friends,

“Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as your possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”

–Kurt Vonnegut

Wish me luck!

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